Rorschach-ness of Life and Art

Matinee Confession 1983

There never seems to be enough time in a day. And I don't have kids, or a full-time job. Yet I find I spend way too much time running errands, straightening up the house, taking the cats to the vet, shopping for groceries, fixing dinner (on occasion), exercising, shopping, going to dance class, taking a shower, getting in the hot tub, taking a walk/run....way too much!

And, oh yes, being on the computer, being on the computer, being on the computer. I must spend a minimum of 5 hours a day on the computer. Answering emails, posting dance workshops, checking my etsy account, listing necklaces, and now, blogging and reading other people's blogs. And today I really couldn't do that because I am trying to get the tax info pulled together. Ugghhh!!!!

So no art today, but here's a photo of one of my collages from the 80's. It still feels strong and generates emotions for me. Why is that? Maybe because it's black and white? It was one of my first collages -- I used several images from Dover's engravings -- the man and woman, the ocean rising. The shell and the "curtain" came from a beautiful book I had back then of black and white photos of shells; the background of droplets came from another black and white photo book. Maybe because of the woman's conflict? The man is obviously smitten with her and she's in conflict (turned away) and turmoil (choppy, whirling waters getting ready to swallow her life). Looking at this collage, there are a lot of stories that can be made up. That's why I love collage -- the Rorschach-ness -- of the finished piece.

It was an exciting period for me -- I was creating art, even though I had never received any formal training. I was also giving a voice to feelings I did not want to over-analyze. Is it any different today for me? Yes, maybe. I'd say so. I don't try anymore to work out feelings in my art. I try to just work with the materials and find beauty in the images, the materials. Yet no matter how much I get out of my head when I am creating, the resulting piece of art is still a combination of feelings, perceptions, thoughts that rise up out of my unconscious -- a Rorschach of my life's moment. What does it mean? Be my guest. What do you see?

What would it feel like to not try to understand everything? To just feel my mane blowing in the wind?