My Creative Life Got Hijacked By Life...

From my "Portals Syllabus" Altered Book

Sigh....I think I danced away from the creative muse again....

Little energy, desire, or ability to focus. Gray moods and/or impromptu, random tears. Worry and anxiety buzzing like bees around my head. Both studios messy, chaotic and little room to move around -- or breathe. No new art to think of. Signing up for a gazillion inspirational e-courses and only getting past the first email, video, or comment/share. No desire to teach. Just want to sleep.

Does any of this ring a bell in the back of your mind? It seemed too, too familiar to me. And i was fearful that this time I'd move way for good from the creative process...and never come back.

Then I talked to a dear friend (her skill sets include being an artist and a therapist). After listening to my "symptoms" she said "Virginia, you need to give yourself a break - you're still in the grief process from your mother dying. Plus you had a 6-week total kitchen renovation. Plus you are caretaking and worrying about your beloved, but aging, 20-year old kitties". That's a lot of stress and you need to be easy with yourself. You'll return to your flow after you integrate all of these changes...."

And once she said that to me, my behavior made a bit more sense. It also allowed me to take a step back and take a deep breath. When the crying jags come out of the blue, I can stand back a bit and watch them rip, and then go on with what I am doing. It's also OK if I can only do things in bits or small chunks. It's OK if I only want to look through magazines for collage fodder. 

What i am seeing is that I am in process -- I am in the process of life -- and whatever that looks like -- that's OK.

And sooner or later my mojo will return -- it may just look a bit different than it did. And that's OK too.

AEDM2014 Day 30: Last Day!

Art Every Day Month 2014 Day 30: Last Day!

Last day for AEDM! I finished my little journal's cover for today's art. It's been a fabulous journey this month. Once again I am impressed with the power and benefits of keeping to a regular art practice. I also loved creating again in one of the Paperblanks journals. There is something oh-so-satisfying about filling a hardbound book with art. And that fat

My AEDM 2014 Journal, Completed

AEDM2014 Day 29: "The Natural Liberation of Habits"

Art Every Day Month 2014 Day 29: "The Natural Liberation of Habits"

 

 

Because I grew up in an alcoholic home I was effected on many levels by the dysfunctions that come with living with a family of addicts. It's amazing that I never became an alcoholic or an addict. Part of my ability to survive, I think, is because I believe that I, and all life, has a connection with a loving, Creative Being. And that's about as far as I take it except that I try to live the Golden Rule. I haven't always been successful at it but that is part of living, isn't it? Meanwhile I have my own habits that so far I am unwilling to give up: chocolate, and art making!!!

AEDM2014 Day 28: "Balance."

Art Every Day Month 2014 Day 28: "Balance."

A reminder to myself every day -- yet some how I know that my real job is not to hide away on some mountain top. To be as engaged in this life as much as I can -- but stay aware. That's being in balance.

AEDM2014 Day 27: "Income for Life"

Art Every Day Month Day 27: "Income for Life" 

I find it humorous and even a bit interesting when I can't figure out why in the name of *** I put images together! Money doesn't grow on trees? (Actually I think Nature and Creation are the source of wealth.) Is the Madonna Gaia or a feminine representation of God (from whom all things flow)?"

AEDM Day 26: "To Simplify"

Art Every Day Month Day 26: "To Simplify"

AEDM Day 25: "Magic"

Art Every Day Month Day 25: "Magic"

AEDM Day 24: "Creating Change"

Art Every Day Month Day 24: "Creating Change"

AEDM Day 23: "A Matter of Perspective"

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Art Every day Month Day 23: "A Matter of Perspective"

Tonight I had to push past my "Making Ugly Art" voice and just get into playing as much as I could -- with color and images and pens and pencils. It always amazes me what the final results are --beautiful, ugly, or somewhere in between.

AEDM Day 22: "For Love"

Art Every Day Month Day 22: "For Love"

AEDM Day 21: "Unfinished"

Art Every Day Month Day 21: "Unfinished"

A lot of the times I will start a page spread and then not have a clue what's the next step. I've learned to not stress out over this lack of clarity and direction -- it's really just part of the creative process. It may take me a while to find that missing piece -- and then sometimes I learn to just love what's there.

AEDM Day 20: "The World,"

Art Every Day Month Day 20: "The World,"

AEDM Day 19: "Angelina Sleeping"

Art Every Day Month Day 19: "Angelina Sleeping"

When I joined AEDM November 2014 for the 3rd time after a 2 or 3 year lapse, I originally thought I do a drawing a day. I felt it would push me to stretch those drawing muscles -- but then it felt too difficult too much of a challenge. So returned to my daily collages. I'm glad I did because I'm enjoying creating them again. Even when I feel like doing nothing, I tap the well in spite of my best effort to do nothing! Today I was staring at Angelina curled up in my office desk drawer and I couldn't resist trying to draw her. Eeek! How do you draw a white cat when you know nothing about shading? And then trying to color "white"? Well, I made her rainbow-colored instead. And if she looks like a hedgehog all curled up -- at least I recognize my little hedgehog!

AEDM Day 18: "In Transition"

Art Every Day Month Day 18 (Side A): "In Transition"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Art Every Day Month Day 18 (Side B): "In Transition"

One of the things i like to do in these small journals is make the collages multi-dimensional.One of the ways is creating a tip in in between two sets of glued pages. The image, photo, or whatnot is glued in between to torn pages.

AEDM Day 17: "Unhideable"

Art Every Day Month Day 17: "Unhideable"

Decided to work with color and pattern tonight, then rummaging through a box of pulled images I came across this Flicker bird. He just seemed to complete the page in my mind.  Flickers are big, noisy birds that I believe are part of the woodpecker family -- and their plumage is even more outrageous than their black and white brothers. They have a raucous call -- brash is the word that comes to mind -- and is either grating or startling to the ear. One of my favorite birds to see in the woods.

AEDM Day 16: "Her Life Came Undone"

Art Every Day Month Day 16: "Her Life Came Undone"

 

Tell me about it! Life. Work. Home. Play. It all seems to too much at times.

AEDM Day 15: "Magic. Want to Stay."

Art Every Day Month Day 15: "Magic. Want to Stay."

Our kitty Angelina spends a lot of time looking at things in our yard and gardens. I love hanging and walking with this little creature. Her little pink ears match the pale pink and buff iris that grow in the garden (well, our imagined garden, ours our purple). We've experienced so many magical moments together, I don't want them to end.

AEDM Day 14: "A Sensual Sanctuary. A Rejuvenating Retreat."

Art Every Day Month Day 14: "A Sensual Sanctuary. A Rejuvenating Retreat."

AEDM Day 13: "Naturalist"

Art Every Day Month, Day 13: "Naturalist"

Being under a tree and gazing up through the limbs often gives me a feeling of flying....A green-limbed ascension in which all things seem possible.

AEDM 2014 Day 12: "Letting Go Of"

Art Every Day Month Day 12: "Letting Go Of"