All Her Pretty Horses (Altered Book): "You Have to Open the Door to Let the Horse Out of the Barn"
It's been a long time since I felt the desire to write in this blog. Looking at my last post I see my last entry was dated October 26th, 2012. My personal, creative, and business side has been busy and full so I've been utilizing my Facebook Fan Page -- Kentucky Girl Designs -- just to keep interested friends updated with my creative output. But for longer posts? I just haven't had the energy.
I started this blog four years ago to see if I could determine whether or not I really was an artist -- or at the very least a creative person. I had an agonizing need to claim this for myself, but the fears, self-judgement, and self-criticism was so great that I couldn't find my way down the path. I couldn't get out of the barn. I would start something then drop it. I would look externally for validation and if I didn't get it I'd quit. Heck, I would quit anyway. I really didn't need a reason. But somehow I got the gumption to do something about this split. I saw all over the internet art challenges. And I got to thinking, why don't I challenge myself? Let's see if I have what it takes to create something -- anything on a consistent basis. Let's see if I can keep myself pinned down when I get bored, anxious, nauseated, distracted. Let's see if I can create ugly and beautiful. Let's see.
So I started my blog in Jan 25, 2009 to record the exploration of my creative process. And to throw the gauntlet down for myself, I started a personal art challenge of creating one journal page a day. Collage would be my medium. Then I'd scan my pages and post them here. And my goal was to stick with it for one whole year, 365 days. I figured at the end of it I'd know whether I had what it takes to be an artist, a crafts person, a creative.
The good news is that four years later I can say "Yes!" to all of the above. And even though I've stopped doing my everyday pages (I stopped at page 1061) -- or haven't come here to talk about my creative process or struggles -- I am now creating every single day. Yes, my mane still blows in the wind, and I'm loving the freedom I found to express this essential part of myself.